Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Craigslist Job Option #2

Personal Assistant, Driver, "Girl Friday"

Reply to: job-430350818@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-23, 8:02PM PDT

I am looking for a qualified person to act as both my personal assistant and driver. I am the President/Owner of a large manfacturing company. Your duties would include driving me to appointments, meetings with vendors, meetings with customers, etc. The vehicle you would drive is known as a Mercedes LandJet, which is a custom made office on wheels. It is not a limosine, but like a long Escalade. You would need a standard California drivers license, and have a very good driving record. You should be able to multi task, as driving would be part of your work. Basic office and verbal skills are important. On occassion you would be meeting customers and clients, in lunch or dinner settings. Your appearance and social polish are important. I am a high energy, Type A person, and am looking for a assistant who works well with my personality. It is best if you are a early riser, morning person, as I have zero tolerance for late people. Only non-smokers need apply. I am looking for somebody who is confident, high energy and a positive person. Please apply with resume,a description of yourself, and a recent picture. I would like to fill this position in the next two weeks, and you would be able to start by October 1st.

Craigslist Job Option #1

Topless Female Cyclist wanted for Music Video! models/actresses!

Reply to: job-431866851@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-25, 11:44AM PDT

Topless Female Cyclist wanted for Music Video:

-must be between 18 & 25
-Natural Breasts a PLUS not a must
-must have a Pretty Face


MUST BE ABLE TO RIDE A BICYCLE.. also must be comfortable and confident while topless!


1 Day of shooting between Oct 3rd-7th.


Monday, September 24, 2007

Nate Came to Visit this Weekend

Nate and my dad can't believe how nicely those flowers brighten up the kitchen!!

Nate ruins a beautifully angsty/edgy picture (Jones, Friday)

Hip feet at Jones (Friday)

"EL VINO DID FLOW!!!!" (Matt, Caroline, and Cis; Cobras and Matadors)

Cissy poses with a cardboard cut-out of Nate Luce

I'm Nate's best guy friend!

Friday, September 21, 2007

Dear Diary

Adopting a dog is a lot different then adopting a kid.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Commercial Quote of the Day

"When you turn on your car...does it return the favor?"

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

"Kids Nation" Contract is Thicker then the Futon Mattress We Couldnt Afford

If someone asks me what I "do" I say babysitter. I would love to be able to say improviser, or photographer of whatever activity I happen to feel like doing that day. For now though, my job, my main responsibility, is taking care of kids. I love my job, its fun, not a gruelling 9-5 office job. I still get to be creative, and influential, and create memories. And I get to go home at the end of my day. I basically get the best part of parenting. Sure, I'm missing out on the fact that eventually jobs end and children are forever, but its still pretty great. Now that I have presented my job, and that I enjoy it, and that its a large enough part of my life that I feel confident commenting on current issues involving today's children. I would like to bring up something weighing heavily on my mind: Kid Nation.

Kid Nation, for those of you who don't know is a television show on CBS where 40 children ranging in age from 8 to 15 attempt to create a functioning society on a set built in Santa Fe. Filmed during the summer; the children even go so far to create a government system with little to no adult supervision. The compete on teams participating in various physical tasks. These tasks determine weather they receive gifts such as more then one outhouse, or a television set. I watched part of this show tonight and my first thought is that these kids parents must be massive gambling addicts. And at this point that are gambling with their child's emotional and physical well being.

As I was watching these children trying to create a functioning society, something real adults are still trying to do; I would occasionally catch myself dissing certain kids in my head. "Oh really blue team kid with weird shorts, your hands are tired? well you just bought yourself double overtime cooking chicken nuggets" or when they cut to a certain 10 year old girl crying at night in her sleeping bag I first thought "Oh come on, you're fine, your mom will be there when you get out, just go to sleep and think about tomorrow when you get to compete in scorching heat again in order to win the chance to take a break for 5 minutes and actually enjoy being a kid" Then I remembered all the times I cried at camp and missed everyone and thing from my mom to the random stuffed animal I never thought twice about at home but suddenly deeply regretted not packing as an essential item for outdoor camping. When I was homesick I would cry and other girls would cry and we would all comfort each other and our counselor would tell us stories and makes us giggle and we got to ride this emotional roller coaster all in the comfort and safety of our dark tent. Not a sound stage with multiple recording devises showcasing my emotional snorting and slobbery confessions of sleeping with the lights on.

The parents of these children are gambling with their kids emotions because this could either be a great experience for their kids or a horrible one. I cant imagine if the entire world could see me as a goofy 7 year old at camp who says my name is "thisthy." CBS is quite aware that this could end up being a situation ripe for a scandalous law suit. So much so in fact that they had each parents or guardian of the precipitating kids sign a massive liability contract. The contract basically states that the parents/guardians cannot sue the network or its affiliates if their child dies, is injured, or contracts a sexually transmitted disease. A case jut waiting to be tried by a certain member of Manhattan Law. This says a lot about how the notion of "childhood" is slowly disappearing that it is a valid concern that a group of kids ages 8-15 might pass around an STD. This is more then just the cell phones, UGGs, miniskirts, and generally just smaller versions of adult clothing we see on most of today's youths at outings to their local shopping malls. Now I'm not saying that the camp I went to did have boys and girls sneaking out together and being in relationships and sharing first kisses, and maybe even more. However, I can say for a fact that my mother would NEVER have signed a contract stating that not only was she aware of this as a possible problem but she was so desperate for me to go to camp she would sign our rights away.

I'm so conflicted because on one hand I have this blog post which blasts this show. Which I do think is ridiculous, but at the same time its so ridiculous its hard for me not to say, watch this show.

The REAL Tradgedies FOX News WONT Tell You About

Spring Break. We all know and love Spring Break. Weather you spend it at home vegging out or take a cool trip, it is an excellent break. Perfect for making the long stretch between Christmas and Summer seem just a little bit shorter. It is Springs official holiday. But what happens when everyones favorite holiday, goes just a little too far?

This is an issue even the trashiest of news stations isn't addressing. They are more concerned with the environment, politics, violence, and of course, celebrities. But what about the normal everyday people? People who are not living below the poverty line, and are not overly concerned about driving an SVU. People who have never run for office then subsequently become part of major scandal by lying, cheating, or lying about being a raging homosexual. These people are are good people, majority of the year. They are not sinners or saints, but rather a quite entertaining and heartfelt mix of the two. These people however, are taking Spring Break just a little too far. They go on vacation, have a blast and then one to two weeks later they are back to the daily grind. Or are they?

All of a sudden a casual weekday beer becomes 2-27 weekday beers. A cocktail party becomes a cockshow rave. There is no hesitation when it comes to getting completely out of hand at friends parents house, among distinguished adults. A margarita on the weekend becomes two pitchers and a series of ridiculous photographs....
These are real people. I know them, you know them. Yet this phenomenon goes largely unnoticed.

I urge you, pay attention to this issue. Read the books, go to the fund raisers. GET INVOLVED PEOPLE! Make signs and attend local protests. Perhaps become the vice president then when no longer in office make a stirring documentary about the issue. Most of all, just care.
If you or a loved one is suffering from this issue currently sweeping about 7% of the nation please send photographic evidence to me and I PROMISE I will call attention to your plight.

The Lipstick Episode Explained

This picture was taken the night of The Right Now! Show taping, and is NOT a joke. You see, I like those little wanna-be-Juicy-Tube lip glosses from L'Oreal. I have them in three colors-- very very light pink, very very light gold, and deep deep matte purple/brown. The latter is used only for fancy occasions-- one drop of it mixed with clear gloss lasts all night.

Anyway, all three of these tubes were in my purse the night of the taping. The studio was very dark, and I couldn't tell which tube was which, nor did I care to look. So, there I am sitting in front of David Cross, in a studio with dozens of cameras, smathering on my purple lipstick like it was one of it's super-subtle pink brothers. There is pigment all over my face.

And Cissy says nothing.

All the lights come on and we all file out of the studio. PA's, actors, hipsters with swoopy bangs, David Cross, Bob Odenkirk. We're all together in this small, bright space, looking at one another, trying to make good impressions.

And Cissy says nothing.

So we leave the commotion and start walking down a quiet isolated street. We are both happy about the evening. Then I say something snide to Cissy, and she replies: "Oh really? LIPSTICK??!" And then the picture was taken.

Was this a really girly entry? I feel like the guys won't get it/care...

Cissy and I Assembled a Futon Last Night and we Really Don't Want to Talk About It

Sunday, September 16, 2007

You are cordially invited to a Blow Out Bash at Air Buds "Pad"

Air Bud throws the most ridiculous parties, anyone who is anyone in California knows that.
His parties often leave his place on the beach trashed with leftover gnawed bones, empty bottles of "Bud Light" and tons of smudged mirrors...
Air Bud is pretty straight edge, but he has a pretty out of control entourage. His main dog is Bandit

If Air Bud Had a Condo in Manhattan Beach...

...It would be really messy. And it wouldn't have any furniture. His front door would be a big doggie door. If Air Bud (or any golden retriever) lived alone, it would be disgusting. No food, no clothes, no toilet paper, nobody to reach the sink.

Just when Air Bud is about to face eviction, a wacky entertainment-exec cat moves in next door and teaches him how to dress cool and "make a splash" with the other dogs. Presenting, "Manhattan Air," a refreshing, fun-filled series coming next fall.

Permission to Approach the Beach

Not having jobs Julia and I have had the pleasure of spending many a leisurely day at the beach. Our favorite beach so far is Manhattan Beach, the first place we went after landing at LAX. We parked our Mitchukekikeee in a small lot close to the beach and decided to spend our first afternoon in California walking along the beach. Before we even hit the beach though I noticed another set of waves. Neon blue waves to be exact. Right in front of us was a sign that read MANHATTAN LAW. With the neon waves separating the Manhattan from the Law. Symbolic? I think so. We immediately fell in love with this sign and an idea was born for the greatest television show in the world.
Opening credits would include but not be limited to still shots of "lawyers" in blazers and board shorts opening brief cases filled with sand and water. A piece of paper would probably fall out as well leading people to think it might be an important law document but it turns out to only be a receipt to Sharky's. Board meetings take place at El Tarasco and the Judges bench is made out of conch shells.
Popular lines on the show would include but not limited to:
"Permission to Approach the Beach" (Courtesy of Nate Luce)
"Take the Bar, Hit the Bar"
"Surfin' and Servn'"
"Hang 12.....Jurors"
"I plead Not Bogus, Your Honor"
"No Shirts, No Briefs, No Problem"
"Law Suit in a Wet Suit"

One afternoon while working on our tans, Julia and I spotted our first perfect cast member for Manhattan Law. A blond girl in a tiny pink bikini reading an LSAT for dummies book and visibly drunk.

Saturday, September 15, 2007


I just got off the phone with my good friend Dan Hodapp. Dan and I used to be in the improv troupe, Caveat. Caveat was the first troupe I was in with Washington Improv Theater. WIT just started its new run of shows and if you live in the DC, MD, or VA area I encourage you to go see a show, especially if it is Caveat.
I had the pleasure of spending my last weekend on the East Coast in Toronto, Canada for there annual improv festival. We road tripped up there, stayed in a hostel, and had an absolute blast.
Read the full article on our Toronto tip here.

I miss Caveat greatly. Dan, Natasha, Justin, Anne, Joe, and Danny Mac. You mean the world to me and I miss you a ton.

Friday, September 14, 2007

I'll Make My Own Decisions, Thank You Very Much

One thing about living in LA, we now have access to all the places you read about in magazines and on websites. The same stores, restaurants, and outdoor space that you constantly see celebrities and hipsters frequenting on the glossy pages or computer monitors. Not being the type of girls to pass up a good celebrity sighting (see below posts...) Julia and I made it our personal goals (getting jobs are overrated) to visit some of the top popular places in LA.

Sight One: Pinkberry
From the Pinkberry Wikipedia entry "The tart, frozen dessert has a groupie-like following who sometimes refer to it as 'Crackberry'"
Now I'll be the first to admit that I have never tried crack before so I cant make the comparison but I can say maybe being on crack is what it takes to love this place so much. Don't get me wrong I didn't hate it. I actually kind of enjoyed it, its good. Its frozen yogurt with your choice of toppings. I just don't understand the blatant obsession it is for most people. Personally I rather get my brain freeze from the Sugar Free, 15 calories a pop, Popsicles I keep stocked in our freezer at home.

Sight Two: In N Out Burger
First of all, I will NOT, be making any obvious jokes based on the title. So if you are into that sort of crude humor you can go read Adelaide's cooking blog. On a hungover Sunday Julia and I decided it would be the perfect opportunity to try In N Out burger. A favorite amongst those who eat in LA and the place Paris Hilton was going to when arrested for drunk driving. Now I don't want to be an LA buzz kill, because its awesome out here, my issue is with these places with cult like followings. It was an OK burger with mediocre at best fries...and I was hungover. The perfect state to be in while eating this sort of food. Maybe I'm just an East Coast kid at heart but Ill take Five Guys over In N Out any day.

Sight Three: Runyon Canyon
LA might seem like a playground for intense shopping, hip eateries, and the home of A, B, C, and D list celebrities. But its not all superficial. There are beautiful mountains our here, the perfect place for trendy hiking and an unobtrusive view of said celebrities. Julia and I had the pleasure of spending our first hike going up the hardest trail with a friend of Julia's, Isabelle. Many times during the half hour ascent I contemplated throwing myself down the mountain just to spite Julia and Isabelle for leading me up there in the first place. However, when I wasn't contemplating suicide I was marveling at the insane views of the city. Before I knew it we were at the top (literally the top of the mountain) when I wasn't feeling overly proud of myself I was wondering out loud to Julia why we didn't live in one of the million apartment buildings down below with swimming pool roofs. The Hollywood Hills are gorgeous. Cool, quirky, houses built right into the mountains. Being the intense voyeur that I am it was fun to "house watch" and catch a glimpse into "mountain living" LA style. This was the one place that is truly worth the hype.

Sight Four: The Scientology Celebrity Center
WORTH IT!!! There are no words. Please join Julia and I in our celebration of our new lives at our Scientology Confirmation, September 31st, 2007.

"The Right Now! Show"

On Wednesday night, we went to the pilot taping of "The Right Now! Show," a sketch comedy production that will possibly air on Fox. Having arrived two hours early on foot (cars are for wusses), we got front-of-the-line status and secured a prime perch for people-watching. Within 15 minutes of standing in line, we saw a couple that looked very familiar, but we couldn't figure out how we knew them. After much deliberation, it hit us: That's the couple that was sitting next to us at Baja Fresh twenty minutes ago. Small world! Then we saw some homeless people. And then a guy walking on the adjacent sidewalk screamed "SKETCH COMEDY SUCKS!" We didn't know how to respond to that. Yes, sometimes sketch comedy does suck, you're right. But occasionally it doesn't, but I'm not gonna have this argument over 5 lanes of traffic, Sir.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that the evening was star-studded.

After an hour of waiting in line, we had our second celebrity siting since we moved to LA. There in his baseball hat, thick glasses, and goatee was the Analrapist himself, David Cross. Talking, breathing, blinking-- right in front of our faces! Not much for celebrity subtlety (I once followed Scarlett Johansson for 5 blocks in the West Village, allowing only 6 inches between us), we stared. Ok, I stared. I figured the harder I looked at him, the more likely he'd be to walk up to me and say "hey there, want some money?!"

When we filed into the theater, guess who was sitting RIGHT behind us? Yup, a douchebag with an annoying voice on an annoying date with an annoying girl. The combination of their annoying conversation and annoying laughter was interfering with my ability to listen to David Cross, who was sitting RIGHT behind them. It was annoying. Then, who comes over and joins Tobias but Bob Odenkirk. Surely they were talking serious comedy, planning their next collaboration, and debating whether to call the cops on the curly headed lipstick-smeared pyscho and her head-banded friend sitting and staring two rows away. I'll explain the lipstick situation in a later post.

So, these were my two celeb sightings. I have no idea about that third guy Cissy was talking about. But I presume he's famous. I have no recollection of seeing him. I was too busy making excuses to turn around and stare/laugh at the rows behind me.

Celebrity Sightings 2, 3, and 4 (An no, they were not on stage)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

First Celebrity sighting

In the car driving to Joy Allen's improv show at IO west we had our first celebrity sighting. We pull up to what appears to be some sort of street movie shoot, a big limo outside with a bunch of film trucks. Then who should run in front of our car but the "Hot Chick" himself, Rob Schneider.
Replay of the sighting
Cissy: (in the passenger seat, looks over, pauses) Deuce?
Julia: (driving, looks over briefly) Rob Schneider?
Joy: (in the back seat, looks over) Yea that's him (continues her story without pause)


Cissy has been fooled twice about Scientology:

Episode 1
Cissy: Scientology is weird
Friend #1: My DAD is a Scientologist
[Cissy looks at Julia]
[Dead silence]

Episode 2
Friend #2: Will Smith is a Scientologist
Cissy: Scientology is weird
Friend #2: Andy is a Scientologist.
[Cissy looks at Andy, then at Julia]
[Dead silence]

Monday, September 10, 2007

Uncensored Pictures of my Jeep at Camp.. Just Released

Many thanks to Kristin Smith, who has been in close contact with my Jeep. "Big Creep" sent Kristin some upsetting pictures of him/herself up to no good at camp. Thanks, Kristin.
"This is me after putting cinnamon Schnapps in my gas tank!"

"Call me 'Cali!!!!!' I can't wait til Julia sees me!"

5 minutes later, all of my fragile belongings come spilling out the back.

You are now enrolled in Douche Chills 101

I love improv. Seriously love it, it makes me happy, it makes me laugh, I have met the best people in the world through improv. That being said I must be honest and also say when I am not loving everything about improv, improv is giving me the Douche Chills. For those of you not familiar with the Douche Chills they are a feeling you get when you are embarrassed for yourself, or something you are witnessing. A chill rushes over your body making you feel both uncomfortable and helpless. Common responses involve a half frown/half smile. A sudden attention to your clothing, usually the loosening of a tie or neck button. Pinching/hand grabbing the person next to you. There is nothing you can do short of shutting your eyes or making a run for you. Two options not often available when you inevitably get the Douche Chills.

Now, the reveal. I have never had worse Douche Chills in my life then when I was playing an Improv Warm-Up game. Warm-Up games are meant to do exactly what they are called, warm you up for a rehearsal or a show. However, I personally believe they do this by making you hate them so much that even if you have the worst show in the world following your warm up, nothing could be worse then the warm up itself. Warm ups often involve a false sense of enthusiasm, and a lot of fake large mouthed smiling. They also primarily include "passing a clap" or "catching a snap" and sending it to someone else in the circle in a "new and interesting way", i.e throwing it behind your back, or juggling it, perhaps you suddenly are in a tiny box and it needs to bounce all around and you need to avoid it and its mayhem, and then its passed.
The games played during warm up are not all ridiculously physical but instead involve intense vocal manipulations. Usually involving animal sounds, grunting, or a made up language. And then a lot of the time they involve both ridiculous sounds, bizarre movements and a passing of both bizarre movement and guttural sound all at once. The Douche Chill triangle of death.

I am about to enter an entire semester of the Douche Chill triangle of death. The Improv 101 class. Now its not all bad. I met some of my closest friends in my Improv 101 class in DC, I also met some of the biggest douches out there. I have met "funniest guy at the staff meeting" complete with memorized jokes from Maxim magazine and tailored for our friendship handshake/slap/pound. "stay at home mom whose other stay at home mom friends think is 'wicked' and 'too funny!!!!'" Complete with "Jenny said Orgasm instead of Organism during science class, and the teacher called, and I said well she didn't learn it from me!! my husband and I haven't had sex since she was born!!...am i Right?! I mean you know, RIghT? hahahalolololhahalolololhahahahlololol"

All this being said I am thrilled to be taking my first class, and I will be taking it with Julia so at least I am someone to share necessary pinching and muffled laughter with.

I'm sure at this point you the reader are wondering one of a couple of things, I will now take the time to answer these questionable thoughts.
1)"Cissy, is it really that bad, I mean its just a warm-up and you suck it up and move on and hopefully have a good show/rehearsal" OK reader, you are partially right, I should suck it up, and I do, before every show and rehearsal, and they help, I mean they must, everyone does them.
2)"Cissy, that sounds so bad, why do you still do improv? You all seem like dorks up there, and I hate coming to your lousy shows, and you and your improv friends can take your ironic t-shirts and your chunky glasses and suck it." Answer- Again reader, you are partially right. Most of us are dorks, at least the cool ones are dorks. And I still do improv in spite of the warm ups because when we are not warming up I witness some of the smartest funniest moments of my life. Pure genius.
3) "Cissy, your blog entry is giving me the Douche Chills" Ok, Reader, I feel your pain, I do.

I Baked Banana Bread

Sometimes when I go to the grocery store, I forget that I'm not shopping for a family of 6. So when I came home with 5 bananas, of course they ALL turned black in four days. I'm not one to waste food (as seen in my tendency to over-buy and let-rot), so I decided to bake banana bread along with Cissy's supplemental never-touched nanas.

Unlike my good friend Adelaide
I am not a baker. I am also not a blogger like her because I can't figure out how to write normal text after a link. And I thought I was being so smart. Anyway, the banana bread was a big success, even though I forgot baking powder and ended up sprinkling it into each individual pan half-way through baking. I also spilled a ton of flour everywhere, and almost had a Tony-Angela Who's The Boss moment with Cissy. Except that Cissy was in another room, reading a magazine. Sigh.

So we ate one loaf in under 24 hours, and gave the second one to Randy as a thanks-for-having-us-over gift. While we were over, I ate one half of the second loaf.

Response to the Letter from My Wayward Car

Dear "Big Creep,"

Thanks for writing. For the record, my name is "Julia." I know you're registered to the name Jim, but I'm the one that's been driving you for the past four years. Good to know that you're attentive. New Mexico, eh? Sounds great. My parents met in Santa Fe, did you know that? It's pretty exciting for me to hear that you're in NM-- especially since you were supposed to arrive in LA seven days ago. LA is pretty far from NM. The lady at your camp said that you won't be arriving until Friday. It's not good news for me because I'm still paying for a rental car (her name is Meekuchee-chee, and she's wonderful), and I need to find a job. It's hard to look for work on foot in Los Angeles.

You should probably take it easy on Cissy's car. I don't know if you know this, but Cissy and I live together now. You and her car will be sharing a parking space. I suggest that you take a kinder approach to friend-making. Maybe Cissy can talk to him about hygiene when he comes back. You all are both entering that stage in your lives. You and I will sit down to chat as well... you have a lot to learn. Speaking of which, who the fuck taught you to write??

No, you may NOT throw out the stuff in the backseat. My comforter is back there, and I am freezing at night here. Also, you have all my books, lamps and miscellaneous Halloween costumes. Please don't toss it. Not even for a joke.

Tell Stinky to step on it.


A Letter From My Wayward Car

Dear Jim,

Greatings from the gorgus, amazing, and pretty NEW MEXICO!! Camp is a blast. I meet lots of other campers and we all sit on the truk and pretent lik we driiving, but we arnt. Our concelor, Stinky, takes us all around to diffrent citeys. I call him stinky becus he smells and the othr campers thinked it's funny when I talk like that. I am rilly popular at camp. The othr night whin we wer driving on the hi-way, I put froot punch on Jason's winsheld and told evryone that he was bleeding. I also unhooked Peter's safety belt-thing an he almost wint over the side of the hi-way. Stinky yelled at me, but he likes me and my hoomor. I think your fren Crissy's car-freind is at my camp. He doesnt talk and cryes a lot by himself. Othr campers call him "B.O. Bobby" becaus he smeells worst than Stinky. The other campers like me a lot. I teese B.O becaus the campers thinks it's funny. I hope he doesn't stay at camp longer.

My bakseat hurts because there's things in it. Can I throew them away?

See u in a few weeks!

Love, "The Big Creep" (thats what my freends are all calling me these days... so funny!)

Saturday, September 8, 2007

If I Had Two Ironic Teeshirts, I'd Want Them to Say...

1. "Ironic Teeshirt"
2. "My other shirt is more ironic"

"I have style because my hair sits right above my eyes..."

Bangs. Side swept bangs. We are all familiar with this hairstyle sweeping our country. Who doesn't have side swept bangs these days? Well I'll tell you. Julia and I don't have side swept bangs. However, we decided in our endeavor to be cooler since we live in LA now to try and rock them on a recent night out on the town.
The pictures you see here are our attempt at side swept bangs. Needless to say, not a look we decided to take on full time. However, for about 15 seconds we both felt very hip indeed.
We are looking into other hip looks. Next week we think we might try wearing hats, and both of us are seriously considering trying on a pair of skinny jeans. Who knows we might even start wearing ironic t-shirts. Although does Missouri really love company??

Meet Mikuchee-Chee!!!

Stop staring. It's just a car. Well, maybe not just any old car. This is a steel-grey Mitsubishi Lancer. There are only 100 of these babies in existence in every Enterprise Rentals parking lot. How'd Cissy and I get our hands on it? Let's just say we got lucky. We rented it two weeks ago to "help us get around town" (Read: "To Pimp"). While trying to impress Cissy on our first day in LA, I tried to make a funny joke about our Lancer. Unfortunately, the joke was on me when I realized I am incapable of saying the brand name. It came out "Mikuchee-chee," and I haven't lived it down since. Regardless, Mikuchee-chee is a good car and likes to listen to Nickleback's "Rockstar," Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry," and anything by Akon. Cissy's car arrives on Monday, so it's back to Enterprise for Chee-Chee. I'm sure we'll miss it like a child misses it's blanket, or we'll miss it in a more coherent and grammatically-correct way.

Are You There, Cissy? It's Me, God, Outside Your Large Living Room Window.

So we chickened out on the $200-a-head Roller Disco endeavor and decided to use our hardwood floors for an actual living room. Here Cissy enjoys a hip LA magazine on our hip new leather couch, purchased on Craigslist from a guy with a pickup truck. Our apartment is 99% superbowl-party-ready.

In LA for 5 minutes and Im already Whor'ing it up

My last night in DC as I was packing up my clothing to bring to LA with me I had to make a very big decision. What would my first LA outfit be? Having gained all my knowledge of LA from TV or movies I had the distinct impression that if I did not arrive anything less then completely fashionable then I should not arrive at all. I decided on a casual (yet hip) green dress. In my mind I was sure that I would arrive and instantly fit in with all the other cool, and hip LA girls. Secure in my choice I went to sleep dreaming of all that was to come in LA. The next morning went off without a hitch. We made it to the airport in good time. The only minor set back at the airport was when I checked in, received my ticket and without thinking walked away. Only to realize 5 minutes later that I had no ticket and my green dress (among other things) was about to go to a complete waste because I would not be able to go to LA. I turned around to go back to the counter and beg for another ticket, when there smiling at me and holding my ticket out was the American Airlines man who checked me in. "I thought you might need this" he said, smiling and with a slight laugh. Not even in LA yet and I already had one "cheesy movie moment" under my belt, I was officially on my way.
I met Julia at our gate and we boarded the plane. Unfortunately we were not next to each other on the plane, but in another twist of fate I was seated one seat over from my friends mother, Mrs. Nunez. My close friend from childhood, Alex, lives in LA and her parents were on their way to visit her. Lucky for me I still look the same now as I did when I was 10 and Mrs. Nunez instantly recognized me. We shared a sandwich and she filled me in on what California is like, it was a very pleasant surprise indeed. Although, I don't think the woman sitting between us shared out sentiment. There was no way I was giving up my window seat having never flown across the country before, and I know Mrs. Nunez felt the same way about her aisle seat.
Our 5 hour plane ride was smooth and painless, with much texting between Julia and I about how we wanted to completely furnish our future apartment with items bought exclusively from Sky Mall magazine. Being in the window seat and not wanting to further annoy the woman sitting between Mrs. Nunez and I, I didn't get up to go to the bathroom or stretch once. When we finally landed I stood up immediately, more then ready to stretch my legs and start my new life in California. I looked around the plane and realized a lot of people were looking at me. In my head I thought, "they probably think I am a real LA girl in my hip green dress, actually they probably think I'm famous, they probably think I am some down to earth famous girl sitting in couch class in my super hip green dress on my way home to LA"
Turns out they were not thinking any of those things, but were in fact thinking "look at that girl with her dress tucked into her under ware, her huge dorky underwear." I guess in all my outfit planning I forgot to realize that granny panties are NOT cool. In DC or LA.