It finally happened, this past Saturday night Julia and I went to a "hot" Hollywood club. This is something we never do, for a couple of reasons. 1)They suck. 2)They wont let us in anyway. However, this weekend was a special occasion with VIP out of town guests (Julia's lovely sister Margaret and her awesome boyfriend Teddy) and away we went to Les Deux. The night began with us stumbling on to a large parking lot connected to what appears to be a family home.
Yes, this is Les Deux (daylight shot for added effect...). There was most certainly a moment when all three of us stood looking up thinking, really, this is one of the "hottest" clubs in Hollywood? Certainly proves that in a town where looks are the only thing that matters no one ever intended that sentiment for the exterior of their clubs. Imagine my disappointment that this was the place that caused me to have a minor meltdown directed at Julia trying to find a suitable outfit. However disappointed we were we eventually got used to it after standing outside for far too long. I guess by Hollywood standards we were not in line for that long since lets be honest everyone was probably at Crowne or Villa anyway but it still felt like forever for us. It probably didn't help that when the bouncer came up to me asking where my friend went (Julia was on the phone trying to organize us getting in the back door since M & T were already inside) I replied with "oh, um on the phone? none of us really want to be here, its a family thing...know what I mean?" He didn't.
Thanks to Teddy we were able to enter through the back door. During our short walk down the back hallway I felt what it must be like to be a celebrity, then I quickly felt like a douche for thinking that way. Until we reached the main patio and then I realized that my mild douchiness was nothing compared to the throngs of OPALC surrounding us, the DJ booth and the VIP sofa areas. For those not familiar with OPALC, it stands for Ordinary People Acting Like Celebrities. Now there are certainly different ways of acting like a celebrity. Just being weird and on drugs and snobby within your private couch area I don't mind, it does not affect me in the slightest. Its the OPALC who decide that they will get pushy and disregard any sort of normal respectful behavior that blow my mind.
Example 1- I was standing, holding my beer with my elbow bent at a normal 90 degree angle when a women walked by me, stopped, and immediately started loudly berating me for "elbowing her in the stomach." This woman felt she was so important that we should all stand like peg people with our arms flat at our sides in case she happened to walk by, much too closely.
Example 2- A sleezy bouncer type "security" guy (not good enough for the main door he just had to work the patio) squeezed by Julia, and instead of asking her to move he decided to scoot her out of the way by placing his hand far far too close to her butt. Julia immediately turned around and said "Excuse me, please don't touch me" and this absolute creep who looked like he could barely run a lap around the bar looks at her and says "why would I want to touch you?!" (writers note- he should be so lucky!!!) Now, this guy is supposed to be "security" which in any normal establishment means keeping the peace and stepping in if things get out of hand, but this guy had it backwards and decided that since he worked at a hot Hollywood club he was somehow above his job title and now his job was to just try and start fights. He stood on the outskirts of our little circle eyeing us for a while and at one point came back over to demand "EVERYTHING COOL HERE DOG?!" to whom he was speaking we have no idea, however, we all mutually answered "yes....are you... ok?"
All this being said, Les Deux has a great set up. Plus Julia got to post the Facebook status message she "had been waiting for two years to post- At. Les. Deux." Here is a picture of the back patio where we were. Yes they use the same decorator as my Dad's law office in case anyone was wondering.