You are now enrolled in Douche Chills 101

I love improv. Seriously love it, it makes me happy, it makes me laugh, I have met the best people in the world through improv. That being said I must be honest and also say when I am not loving everything about improv, improv is giving me the Douche Chills. For those of you not familiar with the Douche Chills they are a feeling you get when you are embarrassed for yourself, or something you are witnessing. A chill rushes over your body making you feel both uncomfortable and helpless. Common responses involve a half frown/half smile. A sudden attention to your clothing, usually the loosening of a tie or neck button. Pinching/hand grabbing the person next to you. There is nothing you can do short of shutting your eyes or making a run for you. Two options not often available when you inevitably get the Douche Chills.

Now, the reveal. I have never had worse Douche Chills in my life then when I was playing an Improv Warm-Up game. Warm-Up games are meant to do exactly what they are called, warm you up for a rehearsal or a show. However, I personally believe they do this by making you hate them so much that even if you have the worst show in the world following your warm up, nothing could be worse then the warm up itself. Warm ups often involve a false sense of enthusiasm, and a lot of fake large mouthed smiling. They also primarily include "passing a clap" or "catching a snap" and sending it to someone else in the circle in a "new and interesting way", i.e throwing it behind your back, or juggling it, perhaps you suddenly are in a tiny box and it needs to bounce all around and you need to avoid it and its mayhem, and then its passed.
The games played during warm up are not all ridiculously physical but instead involve intense vocal manipulations. Usually involving animal sounds, grunting, or a made up language. And then a lot of the time they involve both ridiculous sounds, bizarre movements and a passing of both bizarre movement and guttural sound all at once. The Douche Chill triangle of death.

I am about to enter an entire semester of the Douche Chill triangle of death. The Improv 101 class. Now its not all bad. I met some of my closest friends in my Improv 101 class in DC, I also met some of the biggest douches out there. I have met "funniest guy at the staff meeting" complete with memorized jokes from Maxim magazine and tailored for our friendship handshake/slap/pound. "stay at home mom whose other stay at home mom friends think is 'wicked' and 'too funny!!!!'" Complete with "Jenny said Orgasm instead of Organism during science class, and the teacher called, and I said well she didn't learn it from me!! my husband and I haven't had sex since she was born!!...am i Right?! I mean you know, RIghT? hahahalolololhahalolololhahahahlololol"

All this being said I am thrilled to be taking my first class, and I will be taking it with Julia so at least I am someone to share necessary pinching and muffled laughter with.

I'm sure at this point you the reader are wondering one of a couple of things, I will now take the time to answer these questionable thoughts.
1)"Cissy, is it really that bad, I mean its just a warm-up and you suck it up and move on and hopefully have a good show/rehearsal" OK reader, you are partially right, I should suck it up, and I do, before every show and rehearsal, and they help, I mean they must, everyone does them.
2)"Cissy, that sounds so bad, why do you still do improv? You all seem like dorks up there, and I hate coming to your lousy shows, and you and your improv friends can take your ironic t-shirts and your chunky glasses and suck it." Answer- Again reader, you are partially right. Most of us are dorks, at least the cool ones are dorks. And I still do improv in spite of the warm ups because when we are not warming up I witness some of the smartest funniest moments of my life. Pure genius.
3) "Cissy, your blog entry is giving me the Douche Chills" Ok, Reader, I feel your pain, I do.