"The Right Now! Show"

On Wednesday night, we went to the pilot taping of "The Right Now! Show," a sketch comedy production that will possibly air on Fox. Having arrived two hours early on foot (cars are for wusses), we got front-of-the-line status and secured a prime perch for people-watching. Within 15 minutes of standing in line, we saw a couple that looked very familiar, but we couldn't figure out how we knew them. After much deliberation, it hit us: That's the couple that was sitting next to us at Baja Fresh twenty minutes ago. Small world! Then we saw some homeless people. And then a guy walking on the adjacent sidewalk screamed "SKETCH COMEDY SUCKS!" We didn't know how to respond to that. Yes, sometimes sketch comedy does suck, you're right. But occasionally it doesn't, but I'm not gonna have this argument over 5 lanes of traffic, Sir.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that the evening was star-studded.

After an hour of waiting in line, we had our second celebrity siting since we moved to LA. There in his baseball hat, thick glasses, and goatee was the Analrapist himself, David Cross. Talking, breathing, blinking-- right in front of our faces! Not much for celebrity subtlety (I once followed Scarlett Johansson for 5 blocks in the West Village, allowing only 6 inches between us), we stared. Ok, I stared. I figured the harder I looked at him, the more likely he'd be to walk up to me and say "hey there, want some money?!"

When we filed into the theater, guess who was sitting RIGHT behind us? Yup, a douchebag with an annoying voice on an annoying date with an annoying girl. The combination of their annoying conversation and annoying laughter was interfering with my ability to listen to David Cross, who was sitting RIGHT behind them. It was annoying. Then, who comes over and joins Tobias but Bob Odenkirk. Surely they were talking serious comedy, planning their next collaboration, and debating whether to call the cops on the curly headed lipstick-smeared pyscho and her head-banded friend sitting and staring two rows away. I'll explain the lipstick situation in a later post.

So, these were my two celeb sightings. I have no idea about that third guy Cissy was talking about. But I presume he's famous. I have no recollection of seeing him. I was too busy making excuses to turn around and stare/laugh at the rows behind me.

You are now enrolled in Douche Chills 101

I love improv. Seriously love it, it makes me happy, it makes me laugh, I have met the best people in the world through improv. That being said I must be honest and also say when I am not loving everything about improv, improv is giving me the Douche Chills. For those of you not familiar with the Douche Chills they are a feeling you get when you are embarrassed for yourself, or something you are witnessing. A chill rushes over your body making you feel both uncomfortable and helpless. Common responses involve a half frown/half smile. A sudden attention to your clothing, usually the loosening of a tie or neck button. Pinching/hand grabbing the person next to you. There is nothing you can do short of shutting your eyes or making a run for you. Two options not often available when you inevitably get the Douche Chills.

Now, the reveal. I have never had worse Douche Chills in my life then when I was playing an Improv Warm-Up game. Warm-Up games are meant to do exactly what they are called, warm you up for a rehearsal or a show. However, I personally believe they do this by making you hate them so much that even if you have the worst show in the world following your warm up, nothing could be worse then the warm up itself. Warm ups often involve a false sense of enthusiasm, and a lot of fake large mouthed smiling. They also primarily include "passing a clap" or "catching a snap" and sending it to someone else in the circle in a "new and interesting way", i.e throwing it behind your back, or juggling it, perhaps you suddenly are in a tiny box and it needs to bounce all around and you need to avoid it and its mayhem, and then its passed.
The games played during warm up are not all ridiculously physical but instead involve intense vocal manipulations. Usually involving animal sounds, grunting, or a made up language. And then a lot of the time they involve both ridiculous sounds, bizarre movements and a passing of both bizarre movement and guttural sound all at once. The Douche Chill triangle of death.

I am about to enter an entire semester of the Douche Chill triangle of death. The Improv 101 class. Now its not all bad. I met some of my closest friends in my Improv 101 class in DC, I also met some of the biggest douches out there. I have met "funniest guy at the staff meeting" complete with memorized jokes from Maxim magazine and tailored for our friendship handshake/slap/pound. "stay at home mom whose other stay at home mom friends think is 'wicked' and 'too funny!!!!'" Complete with "Jenny said Orgasm instead of Organism during science class, and the teacher called, and I said well she didn't learn it from me!! my husband and I haven't had sex since she was born!!...am i Right?! I mean you know, RIghT? hahahalolololhahalolololhahahahlololol"

All this being said I am thrilled to be taking my first class, and I will be taking it with Julia so at least I am someone to share necessary pinching and muffled laughter with.

I'm sure at this point you the reader are wondering one of a couple of things, I will now take the time to answer these questionable thoughts.
1)"Cissy, is it really that bad, I mean its just a warm-up and you suck it up and move on and hopefully have a good show/rehearsal" OK reader, you are partially right, I should suck it up, and I do, before every show and rehearsal, and they help, I mean they must, everyone does them.
2)"Cissy, that sounds so bad, why do you still do improv? You all seem like dorks up there, and I hate coming to your lousy shows, and you and your improv friends can take your ironic t-shirts and your chunky glasses and suck it." Answer- Again reader, you are partially right. Most of us are dorks, at least the cool ones are dorks. And I still do improv in spite of the warm ups because when we are not warming up I witness some of the smartest funniest moments of my life. Pure genius.
3) "Cissy, your blog entry is giving me the Douche Chills" Ok, Reader, I feel your pain, I do.