Dear Diary

Drinking hard liquor in public is like playing social Russian roulette.

It's True, I Can't Spell

I have been preforming in improv shows for the past 2 years now, as well as done a few stand-up shows, and not once was I heckled. Sure more times then I care to remember people stared at me blank faced and did not laugh, but no one came out and said "you are not funny."

Recently Julia and I started writing for Sky Mall Product Review.
We instantly fell in love with writing for this blog and that is why our posts here on Benswick have been lacking. This morning it was called to my attention that I had an "online heckler." There is a man who just does not like me or my style. His comments range from inviting me to buy a grammar book to a simple "ughhh."

This morning when I read all three of this man's comments I was pretty bummed out. No one likes to read that someone thinks they are a bad writer and not funny. I shared my concern with a few friends and family members. Their responses solidified for me that the people I know are the greatest people in the world. I quickly moved past being upset and ran head first into thinking the whole situation is utterly hilarious. Plus the guy is right, I can't spell and my grammar is atrocious. My favorite response came from my mom, who like me has a general "tough love" approach to problems.
My Mom: I wish I could put ex-lax in his food for a month. What a creep, I bet he sits at his computer with underpants on his head and lives with his mother. You better get used to it babe and just hope he doesn't know your address.

The idea of this man, that my mom has imagined, coming to our apartment and trying to force me to improve my spelling and grammar is hilarious to me. I am going to spend the rest of the afternoon writing a sketch about it.

Hopefully The Newest Distraction From Your Day

Julia and I now have a second blog we will be posting on.
You may remember this teaser post. Maggie Littlewood will be attending the Ace of Base concert with me.

Thanks to Nate Luce, and Adam Teslik. We now have the pleasure of joining these two excellent writers on Sky Mall Product Review.

Happy Birthday!!

More Sightings

I saw Nicole Richie and Joel Madden shopping on our block. She is tiny and he has a ton of tattoos but actually looks sort of buff. I was on the phone with my mom when I saw them and she responded with "She is just ghastly, why are you looking at those weirdos?"

Andre 3000 was sitting a couple of couches away from us at the Tropicana Bar at the Roosevelt last night. His manager was a douche, and it was the first time I have felt grossed out by LA people. The manager was barely 5'5 and about 50 years old. First he hit on my friend, then he said he wanted to set her up with his son, then he asked if she was going to do coke and could he come. What a creep.

Are these boring yet?

I Just Ate 7 Pieces of Pizza, and Now My Stomach Hurts

I am a child care professional. Basically that's my fancy way of saying I am a babysitter. I knew babysitting in LA was going to be different from babysitting in DC. I was worried that all the LA moms would only buy healthy food for their kids. Eating kid junk food is one of the best parts of babysitting and I was not looking forward to giving that up. I was pleasantly surprised to find that even the healthiest, skinniest moms still give their kids pizza when they go out. What I find to be the most different about babysitting on the West Coast versus the East Coast is not the food selection, or the fancy houses, or even where the parents are going that night (DC might not have award shows but their are still plenty of fancy events for parents to attend) No, the real difference is the movie selection. Tonight I am babysitting 4 kids all under the age of 13, the beginning of my night played out like this:

Girl: OK so we can either watch "The Heartbreak Kid" or "Enchanted"
Me: Oh, OK. Are we going out, your mom didn't mention it.
Girl: No, we have those on DVD.
Me: Um, I thought "Heartbreak Kid" was still in theaters, and hasn't "Enchanted" not even come out yet?
Girl's Friend: Well my dad is the head of all new concept blah blah, NBC, blah blah executive, something important, something important
Me: Oh cool. So um is he affected by the strike?
Girls Friend: No. Or we could watch American Gangster.
Me: Isn't that rated R?
Girl and Girls Friend (who are 13): So?

The idea of having a movie on DVD that hasn't even come out yet is crazy to me, yet I am finding it to be quite common out here. So far every kid I have babysat for has had at least one parent in the industry. For them it's not a big deal at all to watch a movie at home in the privacy of their own home theater 2 weeks before it is even released.

I believe I have found my new favorite part of babysitting. Now if you will excuse me I have to go watch Vince Vaughn playing "Vince Vaughn goes to the North Pole" in "Fred Claus".

The New York Times Presents: Bulia Jensfield!

Oh, and here's the article.