Dear Diary

Drinking hard liquor in public is like playing social Russian roulette.

Dear Diary

I finally know what all those crazy homosexual/transvestites/drug addicts/starving artists were singing and dancing about in the musical "Rent" now that I too live in an apartment where I have to pay rent. Why should they have to pay for their HUGE loft with AMAZING river views when there are so many other things to spend money on like fake eyelashes, hooker shoes, drugs, and expensive paints. I don't want to pay my rent either. I think I'm going to go throw caution to the wind and dance in the street and be really self-righteous about having AIDS. I have more important things to spend money on, like tickets to the Tyler Perry movie and star maps to celebrity homes.

Happy 1st of the month!

Dear Diary

Tonight I went to a costume party. I saw a guy in a white t-shirt that looked like it had been in a fire. On the shirt was written MALIBU and on the back it said Too Soon?

Dear Diary

Every day is Halloween if you are a transvestite.

Dear Diary

Adopting a dog is a lot different then adopting a kid.