You Learn Something New Every Day

October 31st 2007:
Today I learned that nurses, sailors, maids, Rainbow Brite, doctors, girl scouts, refs, a queen, a court jester, Little Red Riding Hood, cats, bunnies, cops, fire fighters, pirates, Mrs Claus, construction workers, Pocahontas, teachers, girls who go to school, Hermione Granger, plumbers, cowgirls, bumble-bees, waitresses, pilots, Sherlock Holmes and any Disney character ever; all wear thigh highs, high heels, short skirts, low cut tops, and chokers. Who knew??

Institution Chic

This picture was taken of me last night. It is part of my Halloween costume. I'm always a "middle school drama teacher" but the details of the costume change depending on the night.

I realized this morning that based on this picture alone I could start a new wave of high end fashion. Zoolander brought us Derelict, now I present Institution Chic.

Its pre-rehab, post mental hospital, currently resides in a door frame....at the library.

You're Not My Real Dad

On very special occasions I leave the bright light of my glowing television set and I go out on the town. Tonight I attended a costume party in Silver Lake. From the front the house looked like a little rambler, but it lead into a small back yard, a long, steep set of stairs and into a HUGE backyard. The stairs and rocky terrain proved difficult for me (not because I was drunk, I was the DD tonight) but because I had on one awkward boot and one sneaker. I went as a "middle school drama teacher." The only thing that ensured I wasn't the most unattractive female there were the multitude of transvestites. Probably around 150-200 people there all in different types of costumes. They ranged from typical (a slutty nurse/fairy/nun/any person ever) to amazing (a 6'7 large large man dressed as Fesick from Princess bride, flawless)

One guy danced up to us in a tiny pair of shorts and a wannabe members only jacket unbuttoned with nothing underneath. I asked him what he was and he said "Your Dad" and I said "You look good for your age" Which I feel like is a MORE then generous response to such a douche chill costume. About 10 minutes later I witnessed him being an ass around some other people and they too asked him what he was. After he responded the guy who asked looked at him and said "well thanks for raping me" I left about 10 minutes later.

Happy Halloween.